So here we are back in our house in our home town. And, as people keep telling me, it must be like we’ve never been away.
Except no, it can never be like you have never been away.
In some respects, things do look very similar. I look our of the window from my kitchen table, where I sat for hours and pounded out my book on this very same lap top in 2015, and yes – things do look very familiar. The view is what it was two years ago. Just up the road is the school were both my daughter’s went before we moved to Pretoria and where my youngest will go again. Across the street still live our good friends.
But looks can be deceptive. On the outside things might appear the same but once you have had the sort of experience you have as an expat, you will always be changed.
It’s hard to explain to people who haven’t ever done this, because as far as they can tell we are the same people moving back into the same street doing the same jobs and going to the same schools (apart from my older daughter who starts secondary school in a few weeks – but as do her contemporaries). From the outside, we looks like the same family moving back into the same house.

The view from our house and no, it has not always been this sunny since we returned…..
And the emptiness of our home is a good metaphor for the emptiness inside us as we adjust to our new lives away from the place we have called home for the last two years. Of course there are many, many great things about returning to this country (that will be my next blog) but you can’t just walk away from a life where you were happy and forget about it. That goes for all of us – me and the kids, and yes even the dog!
So if you happen to come across me (in real life or in virtual life) just be conscious that while I may look fine on the outside, I may be a little delicate still on the inside. And while I am still the same person as I was before we left, in many ways I have changed – some of them easy to explain and understand (I have started writing properly for pay and edging towards being able to call myself a writer; I know a lot more about rhino poaching in Africa etc), others are undefinable. I am still discovering these differences myself but I think some of them include having a different outlook on life from having lived in such a complicated culture, being more laid back about things, having a totally different view of my own country having watched it from afar during these turbulent times.
The flip side to this is that I also have to understand that others around me will have changed too. In some ways we think of people back home as being “frozen” while we are away. This is particularly hard for our children who hope to be able to simply pick up where they left off with their friends, only to find that those friends have moved on. It’s a hard lesson to learn and even as an adult we have to be aware that many of our friends won’t be where we left them.
So as we enter this strange limbo period of re-adjustment and re-entry I will need to keep reminding myself that repatriation takes time, and that just because things look the same they usually aren’t. I need to help my children through this time too – and am ready to deal with the inevitable fallout from friendship realignments. We will have some rocky times ahead, I am sure of it – but to be aware that this is coming and is normal can at least prepare me mentally.
Now I just need to try and explain to the dog where the sunshine has gone!
We have also left the expat life. Though the job hunting hasn’t been as successful so we are currently in limbo. I realise my youngest has not idea about the UK, and we have lost our network of friends. It is going to take a while to adjust – though for now I am just enjoying supermarkets! Realise all the things we missed and enjoying watching the boys relationships with their Grandparents blossom!
LikeLike
Hi Clara! It’s been great following your journey as we have our own. We are returning to Aus from the USA at the end of the year. A whole new bucket of challenges. All the best to you and your family. xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
And you Nichole, I can’t believe it’s all over!
LikeLike
Sounds like a new adventure starting, just not where you expected to find it. Repatriation is it’s own can of badassery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I find establishing the smaller routines allows the bigger pieces to fall into place. It’s like going on holiday to a sunny place with only sandals and flip flops, and then returning home to put my feet back into Converse – my standard everyday wear the rest of the year – and suddenly feel like I have clown feet and don’t know how to walk!
LikeLiked by 1 person